Who Writes Your Story?

Have you ever had someone attempt to sum you up and when they finish all you can think to say is, “I think you’ve got the wrong guy”?

Yet, they remain convinced that they know you better than you know yourself.  They can see something that you cannot.  Their eyes are open.

Okay, so a wise person accepts correction and a fool rejects it.  That’s in the Bible and it also makes a lot of sense.  So, if a person is truly wise it will be necessary on occasion to acknowledge that they have been foolish about something.  Admitting it is the first step.

In this way, it can happen that another person, even a dumb one, can approach you with information that you do not have.  They might even see something about you that you cannot see.  This can be very helpful.

But that does not mean that they’re always right or that they always know something you don’t know.  This is where discernment comes in.  Is what they are telling me logical?  Or am I rejecting it because of the risk to my ego if I accept it?

What do they gain if I believe them?  How does it benefit their ego?  What are they risking to tell me this?  This is important because sometimes they’re right and sometimes they want to get in your head.

I’ve had it happen to me.  I was at a place where I was willing to try anything to fix my life.  I was willing to accept that I had been wrong about everything in order that I could move on and get right what I had gotten wrong before.  Some people took me in and were invested in my growth.  Their version of the story was that I made excuses and failed to trust God with the future.  That wasn’t my problem at all.

I tried to tell them that some things are just broken despite how we think about them.  My answer was exactly what they expected from someone as un-spiritual as me.  I failed to believe that God could do BIG things.  That’s how they saw it.  That wasn’t the case.

And yet, there version of the story got into my brain.  It made me hate myself.  I had not measured up and the burden was immense.  Why did I always do this?  Why was I so closed off to wisdom or to the Spirit of God?  It would seem that this was why I had failed.  All they could do was pray for me.

Their story took root in my brain and lived there for many months after I had been with them.  The more I thought about it, the clearer it became: none of those things were true.  Was I flawed?  Yes.  Was I unwilling to consider the insights of others?  No.  I was unwilling to consider their insights because I had discerned they were not very wise themselves.  Add time and hurt and self-doubt and I started to see it their way.

Do you know how I can tell their story was a lie?  Because it didn’t free me.  I was burdened by this need to meet their expectations and to change in ways that they had dictated for me.  That is not the gospel.

I can see clearly now, they were wrong.  How could they claim to know my story?  I hadn’t even told them.  Where had they gotten their information if not from me?  Probably hell.

You’ve got to ask yourself, “Who writes your story?”   If it’s not you, why isn’t it?

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4 Responses to Who Writes Your Story?

  1. Jenn Miller says:


    I love your brain. The last few years for me have been about complete lifestyle overhaul (as you know from OUR story). That’s the outside… but what most people don’t see as clearly is the complete internal overhaul. The thing I think I’ve discovered most clearly is freedom and just how really, truly, FREE with abandon that we are, or could be…. The rest of the world, society, church, our friends, our community, even our families sometimes, conspire to keep us in bondage, because if they do, they win, they justify their own lives and choices, they’re less threatened and we “fit” into their neat little box. F*ck the box. If you’ll pardon my very crass assessment. Truly.

    I think you’ve really hit on something when you say that you knew they were wrong, ultimately, because what they said to you held you back instead of freeing you. There is depth and real truth to that. We are to be agents of grace, love, and FREEDOM to one another. That doesn’t mean “anything goes” of course, that’s nonsense… but we’re not talking extreme lifestyles here or destructive choices, we’re just talking about walking the path together, living, growing and figuring out who we are, what we’re doing, where we’re going… just writing our own stories.

    Write your own story. Be open. Listen. Accept wisdom. Grow. Of course. All of those are good and necessary and we move forward TOGETHER, not alone… but step back from the nay-sayers, the “haters” and anyone who would seek to limit you, bind you, or in any other way control your thought and growth process. Scripture says that if we seek truth we’ll find it… and I believe that… but I’m also learning, little by little, that more often than not that truth is not where I’ve been told my whole life I’ll find it and the world and god are a lot bigger than Baptists give them credit for.

    My two cents. I love your brain, brother.


    • Chase says:

      Hey Jenn!

      I have got to respond to comments more quickly. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to post such an encouraging and lengthy response.

      You love my brain! That is the greatest compliment. I’m not a fan of the box. In fact, your words stirred some feelings I’ve been feeling: I want to avoid the box at all costs. I don’t want to let anybody put me back in it. It’s like that song Little Boxes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SADPuUYF_4I&feature=related

      Or try this version by the Decemberists http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SADPuUYF_4I&feature=related

      I think we should swap stories sometime. I’d love to tell you more about the things I was writing of here in more particular terms. I also found your last statement really insightful. Where have you learned to find truth? And in what ways is God bigger than Baptists give him credit for?

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  3. Jenn Miller says:

    Hi Chase…

    Nice. Good song.

    I would love to trade some brain space in person with you sometime too! Perhaps our paths will cross while we’re stateside this year. Where are you located?

    What I mean by that statement… most “baptists” (read that any of the fundamentalist denominations, really) tend to be the biggest BOXERS of them all… God even has to fit in their box. It’s less about grace and mercy and love and freedom and more about what you wear, what you say, who you hang with, what you do with your Friday night… and honestly, I really believe less and less that God has any major investment in what we do with any of that… and more with where our hearts are at, what we are doing for humanity and how we choose to use our SOULS… not our Friday night, you know?

    It’s been an interesting three years for me. I’ve grown and changed massively… and it’s really been an experience trying to find my feet again in some ways. Perhaps one day we can talk about that over tea. The ONLY thing I know for sure any more is that the moment we are in right now is the only moment we have and we’d better not waste it.

    Keep writing, brother.


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